and in the wild rushes i went to my death

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
vonnegutcunt
heedra

talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.

extra-terrestial
huffylemon

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fallen-angel-nightshade

If you had shown me this site in 2005 I would have asked you if had checked your virus software lately, because this looks like a bad one. I would have clicked away so fast it would give you whiplash. Looking at these sites now, I have to convince myself that they aren’t virus laden sites and fight against the pavlovian urge to just navigate away.

eclecticmasterpiece

I navigate away anyways because fuck them, there’s usually a better site (though they are dwindling quickly). I still can’t get over how the internet “as intended” today looks like a malware ridden fever dream from 20 years ago. This is every story I’ve ever read about an empire that used to be great and has now fallen into turmoil.

picturesque-about-it

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Beloveds, there is a wonderful website that gets rid of all that crap<3

deehellcat

OOOOH.

always look for the ‘print recipe’ button!! it will also give you just the recipe in a new tab if i can’t find print recipe i don’t make it
carfuckerlynch
heedra

fuck "girl lunch" fuck "girl math" a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.

heedra

ppl are tagging this post with things like 'ooh i want to meet a woman like this' or with specific characters which kind of misses the point i was trying to make. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS. IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO NOTHING. WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.

septimus-heap
sewerfight

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet